


Still No Rest

by generalekenobi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, I couldn't find a single codywan cowboy AU and that's a travesty I felt obligated to rectify, I just really wanted a cowboy AU alright?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generalekenobi/pseuds/generalekenobi
Summary: “Here,” Cody says, handing a tin cup with the last of the coffee to Ben, who takes it with his right hand. His sleeve rides up, and Cody sees a sliver of his pale burn scars that are mostly covered by his jacket and gloves.“Oh, thank you, Cody,” Ben replies. The drink steams hot in the nippy morning air and Cody is almost tempted to make another pot. Too bad they need to be making tracks. Cody extinguishes the fire before going and securing his bedroll to Ghost and slipping him a sugarcube. He pats the white mustang affectionately before setting his boot in the stirrup and saddling up.“You’ll spoil that horse, you know,” Ben says as he finishes his coffee. Cody raises his brows.“Oh? If I spoil Ghost, then youpamperBoga,” he says, and Ben sniffs haughtily as he climbs up into his blue roan’s saddle, not dignifying that with a response.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 273





	Still No Rest

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Arson, gunshot wounds, dreamed character death, implied torture, nightmares.
> 
> Title is from Orville Peck's Ain't No Glory In The West, which y'all should listen to.

The logs spit and crackle as Cody tosses them on the fire. The soft lowing of the steers in the distance can be heard over the sound of crickets. It’s a good night - a quiet night, cloudless and crisp. Ben finishes putting away their tin plates and comes back over to sit next to Cody by the firepit. The August evening chill settles into Cody’s bones as he shoves his hands in his pockets and stares into the glowing flames.

“Reckon we’ll have any trouble at the livestock market, General?” Cody asks, and can practically hear Ben roll his eyes in the dark.

“I am not, nor have I ever been your General, Cody, and even if I was, the Range Wars are over. As for your question, if I had thought that we might run into a spot of trouble, I would have asked Anakin to accompany us,” Ben says, and Cody snorts. Anakin wouldn’t have left his wife’s side for the world, not with two little ones to take care of. Cody can’t exactly blame him, the newborns are quite the handful. “Besides, it is not as if the shepherds own the market. We will be fine.”

Ben is probably right, they’re only driving a measly twenty head of cattle to the local market, and won’t even have to cross the territory line to do so. Cody had nearly asked Rex to accompany them anyways, but seeing as he was helping Boba break his first horse, he left it. It’s good to let the kid be a kid for a while. Still, Cody’s scar itches at the mere thought of running into any ex-Range Separatists. Even a year on, he still can’t stand the idea of crossing paths with a fellow rancher or cowhand who even so much as bought a sheep or talked with Yan or Palpatine. Their machinations left so many dead, and for what? Grazing rights? Land deeds? Family theatrics? Cody knows that the peace they gained was worth it in the end, but he has trouble remembering that sometimes.

Cody still wakes up screaming some nights.

“Cody? Are you alright?” Ben asks, and Cody grits his teeth. He’s being awful melancholy.

“Sorry,” he grumbles. “Just lost in thought is all.”

Ben gives him a look that he ignores and he can hear his companion sigh.

“Cody… I am here for you, if you wish to talk,” he says, and Cody’s shoulders slump. Ben always was too kind for his own good. 

“Alright. I’ll come to you if I need it,” he admits, and Ben bumps their shoulders together amicably. Cody nearly leans into it but catches himself in the last second. He needs to get himself under control, he’s getting sloppy. Ben doesn’t deserve Cody’s pining. Lord knows he’s already got enough on his hands with running the ranch, and now even more so now that he’s an uncle and Anakin will be tied up with the kids. Cody knows Ben made him a partner for just this reason, but even after all this time, he still struggles to believe it.

He calls him General in earnest, not out of jest. He forgets they’re equals now, forgets the days of following Ben into shootouts are long gone. In a perverse way, he almost misses it. Things were simpler. Cody was a hired gun masquerading as a ranch hand, Ben was his self-made, noble as all getout boss who took in the rest of the Fett family when Pa died in the fighting. Never mind that the Fetts were poor immigrant shepherds before it all, never mind that their own father had betrayed Ben and the rest of the ranchers, he did so without question. It was then that Cody knew he’d follow Ben through hell and back. 

“Well, I am going to ‘hit the hay’,” Ben says, and Cody can’t help the snort at Ben’s attempt at American slang. He’s an immigrant, too, just one with more class than Cody could ever manage. Cody tends to forget that Ben was an outcast as well, what with all his tea sets and fencing lessons, he acts enough of a Scottish nobleman that Cody didn’t believe him when he mentioned that he was the family pariah. He _especially_ didn’t believe him when he admitted that Yan was his grandfather, and the man who was supposed to convince him to go back to Scotland. His plans included financially ruining both Ben and anyone he’d ever worked with. Yan hadn’t expected them to resist, let alone fight back when he hired Pa to slaughter the Kenobi herd. It likely would have stayed a one-off skirmish if Palpatine hadn’t gotten involved.

Cody rubs a hand down his face. It’s all ancient history at this point, no reason to brood over it.

“I think I’ll get some shuteye as well,” Cody agrees, getting up from his seat by the fire and walking over to their bedrolls where Ben is already laying down and taking off his hat. Cody settles in and lies down, boots still on just in case, and stares up at the starry sky. The Milky Way branches across the dark, a mess of beautiful stardust, accompanied by the near full moon. Cody doesn’t even try to look for constellations, no matter how many times Ben points them out, Cody can never quite remember them, always too caught up in the feeling of Ben so close as he explains each one. The sky is no less beautiful for it, though.

“Goodnight, Cody,” Ben says.

“Goodnight, Ben,” Cody replies, staring up at the wide-open sky.

He falls asleep to the sounds of the range, more comforting to Cody than any lullaby.

* * *

_The barn burns orange. Cody can feel the blistering heat on his skin from a wagon length away as he moistens a bandana in the watering trough. His heart thuds loud in his ears._

_One of the Separatists_ _set their goddamn barn on fire._

_“The horses!” Rex shouts, running up from the bunkhouse. Cody fastens the bandana around his mouth before turning and barreling into the barn. Cinders rain from the ceiling and the panicked screams of the horses are near deafening. He starts unlatching stalls and is nearly trampled by one of the stallions before a hand yanks him out of the way. It’s Rex, who hardly spares him a glance before he starts unlatching stalls and guiding the horses out of the smoky hellscape. His brother isn’t wearing a bandana, but there isn’t time to scold him over it._

_Cody’s lungs burn, he can hardly breathe, but he keeps going. They can’t afford to lose their horses, not with the losses they’ve already had in the War. He guides one of the panicked mares outside before going back and grabbing another, and then another. He can hear the rafters groan as sparks fly up everywhere, nearly blinding him when combined with the heavy smoke making his eyes water._

_“Cody!” Rex hollers at him as he runs back into the barn, but Cody ignores him. There’s only three more horses left, he_ **_has_ ** _to get them out. “Co-” Rex tries yelling again, but cuts off in a terrible coughing fit. Cody can’t hear if he tries again over the roaring of the flames. His vision is starting to go hazy from lack of oxygen, and he has to pause twice to catch his breath. The barn creaks in warning, ready to collapse any minute now. He fumbles with the latch but manages to open all three before smacking their rumps and leaning on the stall door as his body is racked with coughs. He can’t breathe and he falls to his knees, watching the horses run to freedom as he gasps for air in between his coughs. He lays on the hay in the unbearable heat, heaving for breath. Cody closes his eyes, wanting it all to just stop._

_“CODY!”_

_Cody opens his eyes to see Ben kneeling in front of him. No, Ben_ **_can’t_ ** _be here, he can’t die too. So, Cody fights to rise to his knees, and feels Ben’s arms drag him the rest of the way up. A flaming ceiling beam crashes to the ground directly to their left, and Cody stares at it as Ben drags them away with a strength Cody didn’t know the man possessed._

_“Come ON!” Ben begs, taking Cody’s full weight as they make it towards the open door. Cody can see Rex outside on his knees staring on in horror, and Cody closes his eyes. He hopes Rex will find it in his heart to forgive him._

_He can hear the barn begin to collapse around them and with his last bit of strength he shoves Ben towards the entrance and lets himself fall._

_Down he goes, and the barn comes down around him. One of the beams falls across the entrance, leaving a small gap beneath, and Cody crawls, dragging himself along as his exposed arms begin to blister. Right as the heat becomes agonizing, he sees a bare hand reach through the flaming hole and grasp his own. He finds himself being yanked through the flames and he screams, his back taking the brunt of the heat. Cody’s dragged through the dirt until his rescuer collapses. Someone’s dowsing him with water and Cody coughs, still fighting to catch his breath. Cody looks up from his place in the mud and sees Ben collapsed next to him, staring up at the sky. Rex is standing over his brother with an empty bucket in hand, visibly shaking._

_Cody just breathes in the cold night air and closes his eyes._

* * *

“Here,” Cody says, handing a tin cup with the last of the coffee to Ben, who takes it with his right hand. His sleeve rides up, and Cody sees a sliver of his pale burn scars that are mostly covered by his jacket and gloves.

“Oh, thank you, Cody,” Ben replies. The drink steams hot in the nippy morning air and Cody is almost tempted to make another pot. Too bad they need to be making tracks. Cody extinguishes the fire before going and securing his bedroll to Ghost and slipping him a sugarcube. He pats the white mustang affectionately before setting his boot in the stirrup and saddling up.

“You’ll spoil that horse, you know,” Ben says as he finishes his coffee. Cody raises his brows.

“Oh? If I spoil Ghost, then you _pamper_ Boga,” he says, and Ben sniffs haughtily as he climbs up into his blue roan’s saddle, not dignifying that with a response.

“Let’s go,” he says, and Cody nods, giving Ghost a little tap with his boots and driving him into action. They reach the cattle soon enough, and Cody banks left while Ben steers right to get the heifers moving. With how much ground they covered yesterday and the day previous, Cody figures they don’t have much more than two hours of driving until they reach the market. Ghost weaves back and forth, slowly grouping the cattle together as they ride towards Coruscant, the nearest cowtown with a market and a train depot. They make good time, and pretty soon the town appears on the horizon. Cody feels a little bit of the tension leave his shoulders. They made it just fine.

They drive the cattle down mainstreet and tip their hats to any passers by. The market banner flutters in the wind and one of the employees saunters out to greet them as they herd the cattle into the pens.

“Howdy gentlemen. You Kenobi?” the man asks, staring up at them with his hands on his hips. Ben steps down and shakes his hand before going to hitch his horse. Cody follows.

“Yes indeed, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Ben says gracefully as they walk towards the foreman’s office. “This is my business partner, Cody Fett,” he continues, and that title is always strange to hear. Cody simply nods, content to let Ben negotiate his way through the payment.

“We’ve been expecting you. Let me just grab your money,” he says, going behind his desk and pulling out a lockbox from which he grabs a stack of greenbacks and hands over to Ben, who passes them to Cody without even a second’s hesitation. It still makes him feel a little honored to be trusted that easily.

“Thank you kindly, mister,” Ben replies before they tip their hats in tandem and depart.

“Need anything from town?” Ben asks, and Cody shakes his head.

“Me neither. Ready to head back home?” Ben questions, and Cody quashes the little fluttering feeling he gets in his chest at the word _home_. 

“Sure thing, partner,” he replies, getting back in the saddle as Ben does the same. They take the scenic route. Cody waves to his brother Fox as they pass the Sheriff's Office, but doesn’t bother to socialize seeing as they just saw each other last week. Soon they’re out on the range again, all rolling hills and prairie grass. Up near the ranch there are plenty of tree thickets, but this far out? Miles of plains.

They make much better time than they did coming in and decide to stop for lunch around a third of the way back, Cody gathering firewood as Ben waters the horses at a nearby stream. The wind whistles through the grass and feels good against Cody’s bare arms as he takes his button up off in the heat, stripping down to his undershirt as he goes about starting a fire and heating some cans over the flames.

Ben coughs funny when he walks back over, and looking at him reveals that he’s gone a shade of pink. Cody frowns. He knows paler folk can get some bad sunburns.

“Is the sun getting to you?” Cody asks, and Ben opens his mouth without saying anything before shutting it and nodding.

“Yes, just, uh, the sun,” Ben replies, sitting next to the fire and offering Cody his canteen, which he takes a drink from, feeling the water bead down his neck. Looking over at Ben shows that he’s gone even pinker as Cody wipes his mouth, and Cody feels his brows furrow. He leans over and places a hand on Ben’s forehead. Ben freezes. Cody’s frown deepens as he realizes just how warm Ben is.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’re burning up, General,” Cody says, before realizing how close he is and leaning back to get some much needed space between them.

“Y-yes… I will… be fine,” he says, and Cody raises a brow. In all the years he’s known Ben, he can’t ever remember hearing him stutter. The sun must be really bothering him.

Cody checks the beans and passes the can to Ben to eat as he digs into his own can of corn.

“Tell you what, you finish that up and then how about we go swimming in the creek to cool off? You’re worrying me,” Cody says between bites, and Ben appears hesitant. Cody frowns at him, and he caves.

“Alright, I suppose that will be alright,” he says ineloquently, and Cody finishes his corn faster because if even his speech is impaired it must be bad. Heat stroke is no laughing matter.

As soon as he finishes, he stands up and strips his undershirt off. Ben chokes a bit on his food, but he manages to finish his beans.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Ben asks as Cody offers him a hand up.

“You don’t go swimming in your clothes unless you like wet trousers, sir,” Cody snarks, and Ben huffs before beginning to take his own clothes off as they walk towards the creek.

Cody realizes he didn’t think this through enough as Ben takes off his shirt, revealing a set of wide, freckle-dusted shoulders. Cody would feel self-conscious of his own scarred shoulders if Ben wasn’t littered in as nearly as many scars as Cody. Cody tires to focus on Ben’s scars rather than his large expanses of freckled skin. The gunshot wound on his shoulder still makes Cody shiver even a year later.

Knowing how prim and proper Ben is, Cody doesn’t remove his boxers before wading into the creek. Ben hesitantly follows behind him and flinches at the cold.

“It’s freezing,” he complains, and Cody rolls his eyes before splashing Ben. Ben _squeaks_ before going bright red. Cody doubles over laughing, so he doesn’t see Ben coming before he’s tackling him to the water. Cody hollers before dunking Ben in retaliation, and they continue roughhousing until they’re both grinning and panting. Ben’s color looks a little better and Cody is getting a little chilly, so he motions to the bank in questioning. Ben nods and they wade out, dripping wet, with no towels in sight. Cody grimaces before shrugging and plopping down on the bank in the soft grass and moss.

“Let’s dry out a bit first, hmm?” Cody says before sprawling out in the noonday sun and closing his eyes.

“God, I could go for a nap right now,” Cody groans before yawning.

“Then take one. I’ll keep watch,” Ben says, and that shouldn’t be as comforting as it is. Cody’s eyes flutter open and he stares at Ben. His partner’s hair is glowing a fiery red in the sunlight, his form is lithe and muscular, and his eyes are as blue and calm as a mountain lake. His eyes - he’s staring right back at Cody, and Cody has to avert his gaze, flustered.

“Alright,” he mutters, closing his eyes again and trying not to think about the fact that Ben was looking at him like that.

* * *

_Cody can’t wipe the blood from his eyes as his hands are tied behind his back. His face feels like it’s had a hot brand taken to it. He sits on the earth, scowling up at his torturer from where he’s lashed to a fencepost with a length of barbed wire. The man grins as he wipes his bowie knife off on his pants, smearing Cody’s blood into the denim._

_“Now, I can do this all day, cowpoke. You, on the other hand, can’t. You’re just lucky I was feeling generous and didn’t didn’t gouge out an eye,” the Separatist says, and Cody spits blood at his feet. The man just laughs._

_“You got gumption, boy, I’ll give you that,” he says before aiming a kick at Cody’s ribs. The barbed wire lodges itself into his flesh and Cody bites a hole in his cheek to keep from crying out. So far, he hasn’t given the man the satisfaction._

_The man bends down and grabs Cody’s face with his free hand._

_“Now, you’re Ben’s right hand man, but that ain’t good for us. You’re gonna turn tail and run-”_

_“Like hell I will!” Cody cuts him off, and the man slaps him so hard his ears ring._

_“Like I was sayin’, you’re gonna turn tail and run, else maybe next time we find that little brother of yours and work him over instead,” the man threatens, and for the first time, Cody knows true fear. A moment later anger burns bright as a barn fire in his chest._

_“I’ll fucking kill you!” Cody snarls, and the man actually flinches before laughing it off._

_“No, you won’t, son.”_

_“But I will,” Cody hears, and his heart soars as he watches Ben approach the man from behind, gun drawn. The man doesn’t turn around, but he does stick his hands up when Ben jams the revolver into his side._

_Through the blood, Cody can make out the look on Ben’s face, and it’s one he’s never seen in the year he’s worked for the man. Rage, true rage, shows on his face as he stares at Cody’s torturer. The look vanishes when he turns his gaze to Cody. He’s just normal old Ben._

_“Are you… you aren’t alright. What did he do to you?” Ben asks, and Cody shrugs before wincing at the pain._

_“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” he says, and he can tell Ben is about to say something when he notices the man’s hand drift towards his gun belt._

_“Lookout!” Cody calls, and the man goes for his gun. Before Cody can even blink, Ben cocks his gun in one fluid motion and puts a bullet straight between the man’s eyes, spraying blood everywhere. The man’s corpse drops like a bag of rocks, and Ben bends over and begins to cut Cody’s wrists free and gingerly unwrap the barbed wire. Cody stares at his rescuer in attempts to focus on something other than the pain. There’s a fine mist of blood all over his face as he stares into Cody's eyes and gently rubs the feeling back into his wrists._

_“Are you okay-”_

_“Are you? You just killed a man,” Cody says. Up until now, even through all the hell the Separatists have given them, Cody’s never seen Ben kill. Cody’s killed his fair share in the War so far, but he knows Ben is made of kinder stuff. Ben purses his lips._

_“He tried to kill me, and after what he did to you, I cannot find much sympathy in my heart for his soul,” he states before helping Cody to his feet and whistling for Boga. He allows Cody to lean on him, and in his weakened state, Cody can’t help but be selfish and take advantage. He knows he’s sweet on his boss, but he’s been trying to ignore it. Now, now that he’s been rescued by the man?_

_He’s a goner._

* * *

“Wake up,” Ben says, and Cody rubs the sleep from his eyes before sitting up. The sun’s in a different position and Ben’s already dressed, meaning that it’s high time Cody got up. He rises to his feet and quickly dresses after Ben tosses him his clothes.

“Figure we can make it there by noon tomorrow,” Ben says as they go about breaking down camp. Cody hums in agreement, and pretty soon they’re on the trail again. The mountains are visible in the distance, and no matter how many times Cody sees them, the sight never gets old.

“What are you thinking about?” Ben asks, and Cody spares him a glance.

“How I love it here,” he says, meaning every word. A small smile comes to Ben’s face and he tips his cowboy hat so it covers his eyes.

“I am glad to hear that, Cody. I love it here as well, so much more than the old country,” he says, and Cody nods. Ben hasn’t spoken much of Scotland, but the little he did made it sound beautiful, but full of stifling family members. “What about you, you’ve never really mentioned what New Zealand is like,” Ben says, and Cody shrugs.

“I was too young to remember much. I remember it being very green, and I loved the mountains. That’s about it. Pa heard tales about the California gold rush growing up and wanted to make it big, so he headed out here with Fox, Rex, and I in tow. I think he was running from someone, but he never really spoke of it,” Cody says, and Ben nods. His pa is a… sensitive topic. He loved him, but he realized he was a very flawed man, one with a much looser moral compass than any of his sons, even Boba, who could be a little terror. Still, Cody misses him, even after everything that happened. It was hard being the second eldest, and with Fox living in Coruscant, most of the decision making at the ranch when it came to family matters landed to Cody. Even so, he wouldn’t trade the responsibility for the world. Speaking of his brothers…

“Boba wants to see New Zealand one day,” Cody says with a smile. Boba had all but declared it after Pa died, in some strange coping mechanism. Whatever makes Boba happy, though, Cody is fine with, so he listens to Boba’s many schemes to make it rich and go on a world trip to see the sights. Hell, with how tenacious the kid is, Cody’d be surprised if he doesn’t make it there one day.

“Oh, really? I do admit, from what I’ve read it does sound like beautiful country,” he says, and Cody adjusts his hat against the late day sun.

“We’ll make a trip of it if you’d like, then. Just Boba, you, and me.” Cody offers, and it feels like he’s offering more than just a stupid imaginary trip. Ben seems to study him for a moment before a small smile breaks out on his face.

“Yes, I would like that very much, Cody,” he says, and Cody can feel his face go hot as he nods.

They ride along in silence for a while, only breaking the peace to point out a patch of particularly stunning wildflowers or a doe and her two fawns grazing amongst the trees. After a while, Cody breaks out his harmonica and plays a song or two while Ben hums along off key. They ride until dusk and make camp in a grove of aspen. It’s beautiful, the sunset shining between the stark white trunks. A chill has already set in - it’s colder than the night previous, that’s for damn sure. Cody makes sure to move their bedrolls closer to the fire as they set up around the pit. Both of them are too lazy to cook, so they share a large hunk of salted venison for supper as the sun dips below the horizon. It’s nice. Simple.

Ben starts to nod off and leans onto Cody, who goes very still. 

“Ben.”

“Hmm?”

“Ben, I think it’s time we get some sleep,” he says, and Ben sighs, sitting up.

“Sure thing, dear,” he says, and Cody has no clue how to respond to that, so he just gets up and walks over to his bedroll. Ben mustn't have noticed the endearment, for he stretches and gets up without any fuss and walks over to his own bedroll, settling down for the night with little more than a sigh.

Cody stares up at the moon for a long while, ‘dear’ ringing in his ears.

* * *

_Cody screams when Ben gets shot. He sees it from where he’s hunkered down behind the wagon. Ben’s across the yard, and he’s killed the man who snuck up on him, but he’s still on the ground. Cody can’t hear the gunfire over the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears. He takes a breath, and sprints to the next bit of cover._

_Bullets kick up dust at his feet and he slides behind the woodpile feeling like he cheated death. He’s a lot closer to Ben now, and he can see the blood staining his friend’s white shirt. It was a chest shot. Cody closes his eyes for a moment, feeling nearly dizzy at the thought. Gunfire snaps him out of it, and he waits for another bout of fire to run. Rex and Anakin should be picking off the last of them right now, but that doesn’t make the current survivors any less dangerous. He bites his cheek, and as soon as he hears gunfire, he runs faster than he’s ever ran before, skidding to a stop behind the outbuilding that Ben is slumped against._

_“Cody, I’m done for,” he says in a flat voice before coughing up blood. No, this wasn’t right. Cody examines the wound - a through and through, smack in the middle of his left lung. No, this isn’t what happened! He was shot in the shoulder, not the chest, and he turned out just fine._

_“You’re gonna be okay, Ben, don’t- don’t you worry.” Cody says frantically as he lays Ben down and presses on the wound, causing his friend to groan in agony at the feeling._

_“I’m-” Ben cuts off in a wet cough. Cody’s heart sinks as he hears the breath whistle through Ben’s chest wound. “-sorry, Cody,” Ben finishes, grabbing the wrist pressing down on his bullet hole and gently squeezing. Ben is pale, pale as a dying man, and this is wrong. He shouldn’t be dying, he_ **_can’t_ ** _die. Cody never told him he loved him, he never got the chance to confess._

_“Don’t you dare talk like that. You’re gonna be just-” Cody’s voice catches at the sound Ben’s terrible cough. When he catches his breath, it sounds wrong, like leaves rattling down the cobblestone street. His grip goes slack on Cody’s wrist, and his eyes look past Cody without seeing him._

_“I’m sorry. Keep… fighting, dear,” Ben says, nearly whispering at the end. Cody shakes his head, tears in his eyes. He doesn’t want to keep fighting, none of it means anything without Ben._

_Ben says nothing else, but Cody is close enough to hear his last breath, an awful, shaking sound that drowns out everything else._

_Ben’s eyes are an empty blue, and Cody wails._

* * *

Cody sits straight up, heaving deep breaths as he puts his head in his hands.

“Cody?”

Cody looks over and sees Ben staring at him in concern, his hair ruffled and his pale skin illuminated in the bright moonlight. Cody feels some of that irrational fear dissipate as he sees his friend alive and well, if a little worried. Cody rubs a hand down his face.

“I’m fine,” he says in a wobbly voice. There’s a moment of silence.

“That doesn’t sound fine to me,” Ben retorts, and Cody sighs. Ben scooches over and sits on Cody’s bedroll with him as he organizes his thoughts.

“It was… it was… this,” Cody says, gently tapping Ben’s shoulder, unable to voice it. Ben seems confused for only a split second before he catches Cody’s hand and places it flat against his chest, right over his beating heart. He stares into Cody’s eyes.

“I am alive, Cody. I am fine,” he says, and Cody’s too choked up to speak, so he just nods. He can feel a tear roll down his cheek, but before he can wipe it away, Ben’s hand comes up and caresses his cheek, brushing it away. Cody doesn’t even breathe.

“Is this… okay?” Ben asks as he holds Cody’s face in his hand.

“Yes,” Cody breathes, leaning into the touch and closing his eyes. He can hear Ben’s breath catch, but Ben doesn’t pull back, he keeps his hand in place. It’s been so long since anyone touched him that Cody’s almost forgotten what it feels like. He memorizes the feeling before opening his eyes. Ben is staring at him like he’s _everything_ , and Cody stares back. Hesitantly, like he’s approaching a newborn foal, Cody raises his hand towards Ben. He rests it on the back of Ben’s neck, and he can feel him relax under Cody’s touch. 

“May I kiss you?” Ben asks in a tone so low Cody can feel the rumble in Ben’s chest. Cody, unable to speak, simply nods, and Ben leans in slowly enough to give him time to back up. Cody doesn’t.

Their lips meet and Cody feels something unwind in his chest that he didn’t know was tangled up. Ben’s lips are warm and plush and his beard tickles Cody’s face. Their kiss is chaste and ends after a few seconds. Neither of them pull back far, and they keep their hands on each other, anchoring them in place as they gaze into each other’s eyes.

“I’ve wanted that for a long while,” Cody admits, and Ben breaks out into a lopsided smile.

“We _are_ a pair of fools then, because I’ve wanted the same,” Ben admits, and Cody finds himself smiling despite his still present fear. He could have lost Ben, could have lost _this_ , whatever this is. Cody steels himself and stares into Ben’s eyes.

“I care for you deeply, Ben. I… I can’t bear to lose you,” he confesses, and Ben’s smile grows fond as he runs his fingers through Cody’s hair.

“And you will not. I am yours, Cody, so long as you will have me,” Ben vows, and Cody has to close his eyes for a moment at the bliding sincerity on Ben’s face.

“Truly?” Cody asks, needing the reassurance.

“Truly, my dear,” he says, and Cody suppresses a shiver at the emotion in Ben’s voice before he leans in and presses a kiss to Ben’s forehead.

“I am yours, and you are mine, then,” he says in a reverent tone before drawing Ben close and holding him in his arms. 

As they sit there wrapped up in each other and bathed in moonlight, Cody finds himself feeling safe - really, truly safe - for the first time in a long while.

**Author's Note:**

> Cody and his big muscles: Wow Ben are you alright  
> Ben, dying: P-perfectly fine
> 
> Follow me on the blue hellsite for writing updates and star wars content @/generalekenobi. Shoutout to Tristan for cheering me on during the writing process, you're the real MVP


End file.
